Sunday, January 10, 2010


is off to a less than ideal start! here i am, a college at home, unemployed and all of my future plans have come unraveled! so what is one to do?? a wise friend told me "write down things you are grateful for everyday and that will give you hope"! (or something like that) and Sam, you could not be more right! so at the end of my drab week and the beginning of a new, here is my list of wonderful things in my wonderful life!

my parents keep our home at a colder temperature than i did as a college student who didn't have to pay utilities! so because of that, we have blankets all over the house! we are always curled up in blankets, if we were not fashion conscious we would all own snuggies, but i think i can speak for all of us when i say, i would not be caught dead in a snuggie!

this was the best graduation present! i am so glad that i don't have to use my grandpa laptop anymore! wireless internet is the best thing ever! at least with nothing else working in my life, i can always count on my laptop to come through for me! now if only i had some money to get her a new laptop skin...

quite honestly, i am glad that i am not homeless right now! my parents are kind enough to let me live at home until i figure out what i'm doing, which considering how much neither of us want it, is a huge thing to be grateful for! even when we were talking about me going back to school locally, they said that i could live here! never thought i would hear those words! that is how i know my parents love me...the fact that they haven't kicked me out yet!

as perhaps lame as it might sound, i am so glad that i have my little brothers! these guys are the only guys that i want to hang out with! this weekend, my parents went away for a night and i hung out with them! we had pizza and watched movies and did whatever we wanted and it was wonderful! Yes, i like hanging out with my 11, 14 and 17 year old brothers!

i have like zero friends in Nampa, but i do have some other places out there in the world! there are too many to name but all of you have been more than encouraging to me over the past couple of months! those of you who know me well know that i love school and the thought of finishing college was unnerving! but with all of your help, i feel that i can do this, i can make this transition and i can succeed! you all have such hope in me and it makes me almost believe it about myself! so thank you!

Betsy, this may come as a shock, but i love babysitting your kids! ;) the other day I was holding Max and he got sleepy and fell asleep in my arms for a few minutes! it was at that moment that i realized that i REALLY want a baby and a family, and although i might not have it right now, when i always thought and hoped that i would, i will someday! and when that day comes, i will have beautiful babies like the one asleep in my arms and that's what i'm preparing for! and Heavenly Father must know that i need more preparation! but He also sends me a little girl to sit on my lap during church to tide me over in the meantime!

i don't know all the answers, heck, i don't know any answers! in the past week, i have found what i thought was a great job, turned down the job, questioned my whole career path, changed my whole career choice, gave up on a career, bawled my eyes out, hit half way to rock bottom and wanted to give up. and then i rerealized that if i have faith, everything will work out! i have no idea how, but i know the Lord does and that will have to be enough for now!

i'm sure that there will be many more times i need to make a list like this because i am nowhere close to being out of the woods for this trial... but i haven't hit rock bottom until i have to put that i'm grateful for guys that wear socks with their sandals on my thankful list! when that happens, know that i'm officially insane! until then, i'm thankful!


Shan'tel said...

You are an inspiration to me:) I love you!

Betsy said...

Jes, you're the best. Hang On. Tight. I hate when we get put "in the refiner's fire" and that's right where you are. It's hot and stinky and uncomfortable, but it's the only place where we can really truly grow. As long as you are doing all of the right things and doing the best you can, Heavenly Father will be leading you down the path you're meant to be on. How's that for a pep talk/Sacrament talk? You are our fave. Come hold Max anytime. He *never* falls asleep in my arms!! Love you!!

Samantha said...

Good work. :)

Becca and Kent said...

Jesika, I love you! I love this grateful list-you have the right attitude, and that is inspiring!
I so wish I was there or you were here so I could give you a big hug!!
And yes, the day you say you are grateful for guys who wear socks and sandals, we will be intervening!