Well! Life has thrown me a massive curveball! All i can say is, the Lord does work in mysterious ways! This week has been so crazy- on Sunday, i was set apart as the second counselor in the Relief Society presidency of my singles ward, which will be amazing and for which i am so grateful for! I was writing a post the other day about how grateful i am for this calling, which i am, but also about how i now feel like my life is starting to take shape and how things are starting to fall into place...well i won't be posting that post, because things have come crashing down! I am still grateful for my calling and i am excited for the opportunity to worry about and serve others instead of worrying about myself, but I now also know that the Lord is absolutely in control and that He's got a plan for me that i'm not quite aware of yet!
As of Tuesday of this week, I am unemployed again! I went into work and we all came to the understanding that I am not a good fit for their company and i agreed that this company is not a good fit for me! so under mutual agreement, i hightailed it out of there, never to return to the crap shoot that was my first post graduation job...and from hereafter, never to be referred to again! Done. It. Never. Happened.
Also this week, I was let go from a friendship! My dear friend that i have become so fond of and have come to rely on throughout these difficult months in my life, informed me over facebook :
I've been pondering a significant amount these past several weeks and I regret to inform you that I don't think you're a good fit for our friendship. You've tried your best but I don't think you quite make the cut.
As if nothing else were working in my life and i failed at a friendship! and i thought things were going so well! so the morale of the story- i am failing at life! I can't keep a job, or a friend, and now i don't know what to do! I don't really have any marketable skills, i don't even know what i want to do and nothing is working out the way that i thought it would!
BUT... as i was sitting there, listening to some poor business managers, tell me that i was not fit for their poorly run company, i knew at that moment that this was absolutely part of the plan that Heavenly Father is putting into motion for me! this is not going to be an easy time in my life, this i know! i'm going to have to dig deep and figure out who i am and what i want out of life and what the Lord wants me to do! At least i know that this is all going to work out, it's not working out at all how i would like, but the Lord is going to fit all of the discombobulated pieces together, and i hope i don't do anything stupid to mess it up!
Here's what i do know:
This was NOT the job for me, and Heavenly Father offered a way out so that i can find that better job He has for me somewhere else!
The Lord is absolutely in charge, and he might take me a on a wild goose chase and throw me some fast balls and some less than ideal curveballs, just to make sure that i'm still going to follow Him on this chase full of sports metaphors that i don't understand!
This calling has shown me that i am right where the Lord wants me. i never wanted to graduate from college and go back home to live with my parents in a town that has almost no potential for me, but i'm here, and even though it's not where i saw myself, it's where the Lord wants me and that is enough for now!
I've got a family, a roof over my head, and food on the table, so for now, I'm okay! i might not have a job, money, solid plans for my future, a boyfriend, or tons of friends to hang out with, but they'll come...whenever the Lord wants to send them to me!
and in the meantime, i'll be practicing my batting swing!